


Four Couples Who Fetishize Vanilla

by Aris Merquoni (ArisTGD)



Category: D.E.B.S. (2004), Leverage, Man From U.N.C.L.E., Spooks
Genre: Community: kink_bingo, Multi, Pegging, Vanilla Kink, five things
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-08-17
Updated: 2010-08-17
Packaged: 2017-10-11 03:22:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/107794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArisTGD/pseuds/Aris%20Merquoni
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Vanilla as a kink, fetishizing the idea of a nonfetish. Four and a half scenarios.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Couples Who Fetishize Vanilla

1.

The second time Tom and Christine had sex, she stopped him before he had his tie off asked, "So what do you like?"

"Sorry?" he asked.

She shrugged. "In bed." At his blank stare, she smiled. "C'mon, I'm being a sensitive girlfriend. What do you like to do?"

"Well, I like sex," he finally said.

Christine laughed at him. "Okay, we can start there. Favorite position? Fantasies you've had? Anything you especially like to do?"

"Oh, we're talking fetishes, are we?" He climbed onto the bed and knelt next to her. "Leather, chains, whips, that sort of thing?"

"Or not," she said, reaching up to trail her fingers along his jaw.

He reached up and caught her fingers, then reached out for her face. He drew her close for a kiss, then closed his eyes and said, "Do you know what I fantasize?"

"No," she said.

"I fantasize," he said, "that I have a normal, boring, ordinary life. And a normal, simple, usual relationship. And we have uninteresting, traditional, missionary position sex."

When he opened his eyes, Christine was smirking at him. "That's your fantasy?"

"Yes," he admitted.

"You're a strange man, Tom Quinn," she said, and pulled off her shirt. "C'mon, then."

* * *

2.

"I love doing it like this," Lucy said into Amy's ear.

"Hmm? Oh--" Amy said, gasping a bit as Lucy slipped another finger inside her. She dug her heels into the mattress and tilted her hips up a bit to rub against the pad of Lucy's thumb, right where all her nerves buzzed with every movement. "Like what?"

"Like, this," Lucy said. "No toys, no dressing up, no handcuffs--"

"Hey, I gave you those handcuffs."

"Just you and me," Lucy continued. "Makes me feel like we're normal housewives in Ohio or something."

Amy bit her lip as Lucy rubbed her thumb in circles, every revolution like an electric spark. "I think housewives in Ohio are a lot kinkier than this," she finally gasped.

Lucy kissed her on the cheek, panting and sweaty. "Don't ruin my fantasy."

* * *

3.

"What do normal people do when they have sex?" Parker asked.

Alec looked up from his work, a little baffled that Parker could form a coherent sentence after the noises she'd been making. He wiped his mouth off and pushed her back on the swing (he'd worked hard putting up that swing) and asked, "What do you mean?"

She shrugged. "Like, non-thief people?"

"Non-thief people have lots of kinds of sex," he said. "People have--why?"

She shrugged again and hopped off the swing. "I dunno. What's missionary position?"

Alec stood up, a little creaky on his knees, and reached out to hug her. "Don't worry about what normal people--we're not normal people, and normal people are plenty freaky and kinky themselves. So don't worry."

Parker squirmed around in his arms and planted a kiss on his mouth. "I know. But sometimes I like to pretend."

Alec grinned, kissed her back, and said, "Well, in that case..."

* * *

4.

"No spy cameras?"

"No," Illya said, nuzzling him under his neck and pulling open his shirt.

Napoleon leaned his head back on his mattress and looked around. "No listening devices?"

"No, we're clear," Illya reassured him.

"No ulterior motives, final instructions, lurking THRUSH agents--"

"Napoleon," Illya said. "We're in your apartment in New York. We're safe."

Napoleon closed his eyes and shook his head. "I just--"

Illya reached up to touch his face, kissed him gently. "It's just us," he said. "Let me?"

They pushed off the rest of their clothes and lay there touching gently, until finally Napoleon closed his eyes and admitted, "Sometimes I wish I didn't have to be on edge all the time."

"Hmmm," Illya said. "Well, just lie there and pretend you're retired with some nice girl in Dayton, Ohio--"

"A nice girl wouldn't be able to do what I'd like you to," Napoleon pointed out.

Illya raised his eyebrows. "With all the world's technological ingenuity, I'm sure you could figure something out."

"Fair point." He leaned up and kissed Illya until he lost his smug expression. "And where would you retire to, if you had the chance?"

"Vyshhorod," Illya said after a second. He shrugged at Napoleon's look. "It's just north of Kiev."

"So you'll find some nice girl..."

Illya ran his hand up Napoleon's chest. "I'd rather... retire somewhere I can bring a friend."

Napoleon felt himself grinning. "Well, all right," he said. "Wherever we wind up, we'll be able to relax. And we'll just do something like this, nice and slow--"

"Where did I put that lubricant?" Illya muttered, reaching over to search Napoleon's nightstand.

"Lazy Saturday afternoon--"

"Here it is," Illya said. He leaned down and gave Napoleon another kiss. "Hold that thought."

"Sorry, enjoying it too much," Napoleon said. "I'm just going to have to keep thinking it."

Illya smirked down at him. "Well, I hope you can pay attention to two things at once, because I'd like to make the lazy Saturday afternoon sex part of your fantasy come true."

"Oooh," Napoleon said, "You're making the case for Vyshhorod sound better and better all the time."

* * *

1.

"It's just..."

Tom opened his eyes and looked down at Christine, who was chewing her lip. "What?"

"Nothing," she said.

He'd stopped moving when she'd started talking, and it was really difficult to concentrate, but he didn't want to start again until he knew what was bothering her. "No, what's wrong?"

She bit her lip again, then said, "Well, it's just I went through all the trouble of buying the strap-on..."

It took him a second, it really did--she was warm and soft and _warm_ and he was really happy right there--but he raised his eyebrows and thought about that for a second.

"Okay," he finally said.

"Okay?"

"Yes," he said, and then reluctantly pulled out of her embrace and rolled onto his back. "That sounds fun."

Christine grinned at him, then dove for her purse at the foot of the bed. Tom lay back and smiled. "But I get to lie on my back, all right?"

"Whatever you say, dear," she agreed.


End file.
